Bella's Love
by ttharman
Summary: Some days I miss you so freaking much, the laughter, the smile and the good times; then I remember how we got where we are and then I don't miss you at all.
1. Chapter 1

I know how we got here. It was my fault, or I say it was all my fault...but then again there are days I blame you as well.

We had a great relationship, we loved, we laughed, we were inseparable and one day it all fell apart.

Do you remember that day?

I do.

A cold October day, you confronted me and asked me if I slept with _him_. If I cheated on you.

I could never lie to you and I didn't then.

You were so angry, I'd never seen you like that before, I was so scared.

I was scared for myself and what it might mean for us.

Our bubble was gone, destroyed by something I'd done to hurt you.

It was never my intention, it just happened.


	2. Chapter 2

SM owns all.

I went home that night and cried myself to sleep. I'd lost you, the one person I loved more than anything in the world.

I know it was my fault and I did blame myself, but I thought back to how we got to that point.

You never trusted me.

Never.

You always had someone at my side.

I am a grown woman. I have a job and a mortgage. I do not need a sitter. Though you feel it would be better for me to have someone take care of me when you aren't around.

I am devastated, I only want you.

It started out innocent, honestly it did, I spent my whole week with _him_, you were always gone out of town on business.

He takes me to dinner, the movies, and out for ice cream always. We will sit at the bar for hours and have cocktails talking about your shared childhood. I love hearing about it, I only wish it was you telling me.


	3. Chapter 3

SM owns all.

When you come home on Friday's he's always with us. We hardly ever go out without him. I want to spend time with you… alone. I love him, yes, but not as much as I love you.

You never see that, you only see what you want.

The first time he and I kiss I feel as guilty as he obviously does. The second time we just can't stop.

I fell in love with him, but I love you, too. I just don't know what to do. I always feel so guilty spending time with both of you, loving you both.

You have no idea. We keep it so well hidden. You're all smiles knowing that he and I were okay spending time together; if you only knew.

As the weeks progressed, after that first kiss, you travel more, so I spent more time with him.

It's not unusual for him to be with me five days a week while you're gone. You just think he's being a good friend taking care of me.

He takes care of me, cares for me, and loves me in a way you would never understand.

When you do come home, my world is always better, it's as though I have two boyfriends, not just one.

I can hold his hand, sit in the middle at the movies and you never think anything about it. He's being a good friend to me. That's how you see it. You never see it for what's really between us.


	4. Chapter 4

SM owns all.

The first time he fucks me, I scream his name so loud I'm sure the neighbors hear me.

He fucks me against the wall. He fucks me in the shower. He even fucks me bent over the couch.

You've never done that. You're always so worried that you'll hurt me if you were rough.

Hint, I want it rough. I want you to take me. I want you to make me yours.

He does.

It's so hard to look you in the eye after the first time he and I are together. Though I know then I would never be able to let him go. I need him. I need him like air to breathe.

That's when you start talking your nonsense, he needs someone to date. You feel as though he's a third wheel now.

YOU don't want him around as much. I am livid. After all the months I've complained about him being with us, taking care of me after I fall in love with him, too, this is when you want him gone.


	5. Chapter 5

SM owns all.

And he does start dating. He started seeing that girl Irina from the bar we frequented. She's so funny stating she thought he and I were together since we're together all the time.

You casually comment, "No, he keeps tabs on her for me. She's too precious to let out of my sight."

If you only knew. I feel like a bitch. Like I'm living a lie of immaculate proportions.

I love you. I love you so fucking much, but I love him, too.

And I hope I'm never going to have to choose, because I don't think I will be able to do that to either of you.


	6. Chapter 6

SM owns all.

Do you remember the promotion you got?

You don't have to travel as much anymore. I'm ecstatic I'll get to see you more, yet it saddens me I won't get to see him. How fucked up am I?

There are days where I want to end it with both of you because the guilt is eating me alive. I know you have no clue, the only person that knows is him and he feels the same way.

We love you, we love each other, neither of us could give up the other one nor can we give up you.

He and Irina continue to date, and he continues to fuck me as well.

It is a vicious cycle we live. I will get angry about her and he will get angry about you.

I can't give you up, so he gives me up.


	7. Chapter 7

SM owns all.

You don't understand why I'm so sad. You don't understand why I'm moody. I can't tell you. What's really wrong, he broke my heart. I don't want to break yours, too.

Some days I blame you. Some days I blame myself. Today I blame everyone.

I asked you why he doesn't come around anymore. I need to know. You tell me that Irina has told him she wants to spend more time with him, not Bella and her boyfriend.

I call him crying, I can't help myself, I miss him. He won't talk to me, though. He said he's with her now, he can't be with me anymore but he'll always love me.

Love me? Love me. If he really loves me, we would still be together and he wouldn't be with that bitch.

I hate her. I hated her even more when I see their engagement announcement.


	8. Chapter 8

SM owns all.

We just celebrated our two year anniversary. You surprise me by taking me away for a weekend getaway.

It's great just to be with you. It makes me realize how much I truly do love you and want to be with you.

Screw the rest of the world.

We spend our whole weekend wrapped in the sheets in each other's arms. God, how I miss this with you, the intimacy, the love, and the devotion we have for one another.

"Move in with me," I whisper.


	9. Chapter 9

SM owns all.

Those words are like the final nail in the coffin.

You become distant and withdrawn after that, never wanting to be alone with me.

I didn't understand. I thought things were good between us. I want to be with you, and only you. I realize this after _he_ broke my heart. You picked up those pieces, though at the time, you didn't know it.

I spend less and less time with you. You always have an excuse why we can't hang out. I'm worried. I think maybe you have someone else, and don't love me anymore.

Yes, I know I would deserve that. I am the lowest of low, I'd slept with _him_.

I had a relationship with him for almost a year. Though I love you, I've always loved you. I was so scared, scared you were going to leave me, that you don't love me anymore.

I need answers, so I called him.


	10. Chapter 10

SM owns all.

He knew, and he is brutally honest, you are seeing someone else, you're cheating on me.

The irony of the situation is not lost on me, that's for sure.

Karma.

I know. I know it's my turn, and again, my heart is broken.

I'm not going to ask. I'll wait for you to make your move, I can't give you up, I love you entirely too much.

I'll wait it out. Suffer in silence. I've done it to you, so this I feel is my penance.

Then all Hell breaks loose. You found out about him and me.


	11. Chapter 11

SM owns all.

That night I'm so upset when you ask me. What am I supposed to do, lie?

I can't lie. I never lie to you. You've never asked me before, you know I love him.

You just never realized the depths before now.

The hurt in your eyes is almost more than I can bear.

How am I ever supposed to tell you I fell in love with your brother?


	12. Chapter 12

SM owns all.

I knew it is wrong, he knew it was wrong, but I love you both and I can never give up either of you.

"You pushed us together," I screamed, "you always had him around. He was always with me. I couldn't go anywhere without him. People thought I was dating him and not you. That's how much I was with him, ALL the FUCKING TIME!"

"Do not put this blame on me, Bella, you knew what you did was wrong. I can't do this anymore," you cry as you walk out and slam the door behind you.

My heart is shattered. I know it's is wrong. I'd known it the whole time I was with him, but I couldn't give him up. Nor could I give you up, either.

I feel as though my world ended that night.


	13. Chapter 13

SM owns all.

I never told you that I knew you were seeing her while we were still together. I felt like I'd broken your heart beyond repair as it was.

I cry, I sulk, and I'm in the worst funk of my life.

I fucked it all up. I really did. We have the most dysfunctional relationship as it was and then I screw it up even more by sleeping with your brother.

In the end you both leave me for other people. I'm devastated and heartbroken beyond repair.

I know I can't live without you, I have to have you back. I will do whatever it takes to get you back.

So I start planning.


	14. Chapter 14

SM owns all.

I think I turn into the ultimate stalker. I go to your office and leave you notes on your car.

I would have called, but you change your number.

I send gift baskets and flowers. I even drive by your house to see if you're home.

Yes, I know I am slowly losing it, but every other day I hear your motorcycle ride by my house as well, and it makes me smile.

I guess we're both fucked up, huh?

Toxic. That's what we are, we can't live together nor can we live apart.

I decide to lay low and maybe, just maybe, you'll come back to me.

That didn't work out as planned.


	15. Chapter 15

SM owns all.

I see you with her. I'm out with friends one night and I feel as though someone suckered punched me.

That sight hurt worse than anything in the world, when you look up and see me you smirk.

Fucking smirked.

I could die at that moment. I try to keep the smile on my face and be brave, though inside I was dying.

As I continue to get shitfaced with my friends, I see you watching me. Kate, your new girlfriend, doesn't seem too happy with that, oh well not my problem.

Nor is the cute guy that just came up to the table to talk to us.

He's is making conversation with me, so I'm going to be just as nice and talk back with him, the whole time watching you.

I know it pisses you off, but what are you going to do? You're with your girlfriend, and I don't belong to you anymore.


	16. Chapter 16

SM owns all.

Cute guy asked for my number, his name's Riley. I was so glad he typed in the notes section on my phone where we met.

I know I need to move on with my life anyway. You've made it clear that you want nothing more to do with me, verbally that is, but your actions speak louder.

While I'm laughing with Riley and making plans, I can see the fiery fury in your eyes. I don't belong to you.

I belong to no one now.

I'm happy that someone finds me attractive and doesn't know all of the dirty things I did. I need a fresh start and maybe Riley can be that guy.


	17. Chapter 17

SM owns all.

Riley isn't that guy, but he's a great distraction for me trying to get over you.

We have fun. We go out and we fuck. We have for a few months. He's a great guy, though my thoughts are never far from you.

I still drive by your house. I still look for you at the grocery store and every once in awhile, I stalk your office.

Kate has been long gone now, kicked to the curb after the fit she threw when you wouldn't stop watching me the night I met Riley.

Your sister and I still talk. Thank God for her or I would never know what's going on with you.

I know your brother and Irina broke up. He told me himself when he showed up at my door one night, crying.

I opened the door, my arms, and eventually my bed to him. We picked up where we left off.

I feel like such a slut, but I figure if I can't have you the way I want you I'll take the next best thing.

Him.


	18. Chapter 18

SM owns all.

It helps having him around, though I miss you every day. He knows this and never says a word.

He just takes me as I am.

And for this I am grateful. We don't talk about you, it's an unspoken rule between us.

I love him, I love you, and in a perfect world, I would be with both of you, but my reality is hell.

You don't come by anymore like you used to. Probably because he's here. I know you saw his car once, your sister told me.

She also said you're dating again, Bree is it? Good luck with that one. I'm sure you'll need it.

Do you think of me as you fuck her?

Does she make it good?

Your brother does. I love when he fucks me hard and fast, though I think of you when he does.


	19. Chapter 19

SM owns all.

It's been six months since I've seen you. I told your brother two months ago I couldn't do it anymore, I love you and I always will.

I think it truly hurts him this time, but I realize I have to be true to my own heart.

Without you, there is no me. I feel like a shell of myself. I realize I've lost weight, as well as the luster of life.

I feel there's no reason to keep going on without you.

Then I meet James. I forget all about you for a while.

James is a badass tattoo artist with a shady past. I love it. I need some bad in my life, it gives me something to look forward to.

My friends hate him. They say he's bad for me. I don't care, he keeps my mind off of you and that's what I need.


	20. Chapter 20

SM owns all.

James is dangerous. He does dangerous things, illegal things. I love being a part of his world if only from the outside looking in.

I never truly let anyone in, nor let anyone see the real me. I don't like myself, don't feel like I should be loved nor even liked.

James fit the bill for what I needed, and he led me down the path of self-destruction.

The drugs, the sex, the abandonment of responsibility, and life, that's what I have with James.

I need it, or so I think. He's a bad habit I can't seem to break. I almost lose my job and house over him.

I know then it's time to wake up and be responsible for my actions. I know what I need to do.


	21. Chapter 21

SM owns all.

"Hey, it's me. Can we talk?"

I call you on a Wednesday. Almost two years after we broke up. I will never forget that day as long as I live.

"I don't know, B, I don't know if I'm ready yet," you whisper to me, so lowly in the phone I almost don't hear you.

"Not ready? Not ready? It's has been two fucking years. I need to move forward with my life, with or without you for good. I can't keep living in this yo-yo," I all but scream. I'm scared you would really tell me no, and then you did.

"I can't, B. I just can't, I am not sure when, I just can't right now."

Click.

I am stunned, too upset to cry. You just hung up the phone. So I do what I always do, I called your brother and he comes running.


	22. Chapter 22

SM owns all.

He always comes running for me when I need him.

He's the one sure thing I know I can count on. He's always there for me when I need him.

I cry as I tell him what you said. He put his arms around me as he says, "Bella, I love you and he loves you, you have to decide who you love and who you want to be with for him to start forgiving either of us and moving forward. If you want to be with him and truly love him, then work towards that. If you want to be with me, then please let me know and we can move forward. I know we didn't start out as a traditional couple, but know I love you more than anything or anyone."

I have no idea what to do, I love you both, I can't decide.


	23. Chapter 23

SM owns all.

I need time. I need a break from all of the drama in my own life.

So I quit my job, sell my house, and move away.

Move away from both of you. I need to clear my head and I know I can't do that with either of you around.

I find a new job, rent a house, and find a new boyfriend, Paul.

Paul is what I need; tall, dark and handsome, he fits the bill to a T.

He's such a gentleman, never pries or pushes me for anything more than what I'm comfortable giving.

Even the day he picks up the picture of the three of us.

He just looks at me and says, "Wow, what lucky guys to have your love."

He leaves it at that. I'm speechless, a complete stranger to the situation knows I love both of you.

.


	24. Chapter 24

SM owns all.

A year has passed and I'm still seeing Paul. It's nothing serious. There's no passion in our relationship.

He's steady.

He's responsible.

He's what I need right now.

Then Alice calls. Your sister says there's been an accident and you're in the hospital. They don't know if you're going to make it.

I'm a bumbling mess trying to get out of the house. Thank God Paul's there and he offers to drive me.

What would I do without him? But what would I do without you?

I would die. That's what I would do.

I can't lose you again.


	25. Chapter 25

SM owns all.

It's a two hour drive, worth every minute, to get to see you. I haven't seen you in almost three years.

I have no idea if you're dating, married, or even want to see me. I'm hoping and praying for no girlfriend or wife and that you won't kick me out once you see me there.

As soon as we pull into the hospital, I call Alice and she tells me what floor. She warns me he's there as well, just so I'm prepared.

Paul's great, he just nods and tells me to lead the way.

I don't know what I did to deserve him after causing so much shit, but I'm grateful just the same.

He holds my hand as we walk into the waiting room. I see your brother as he notices mine and Paul's fingers intertwined.

He looks sad, like maybe I found someone to replace him. I could never replace him, but I believe I've moved on for good.


	26. Chapter 26

SM owns all.

They tell me it was a car accident. A car hit your motorcycle and you're lucky to be alive.

I'm devastated. I can't stop crying. I'm trying to be strong, but I don't have the strength in me anymore.

Paul holds me as I cry, he never questions me, and he never questions us as a couple.

He knows you're the one I love. He knows you're the one I'm still trying to get over.

"Bella, life's too short and precious. If you truly love him then you need to make sure he knows. I care for you as I believe you care for me, but you love him. I see it in your eyes when you talk about him, when you look at his pictures, and I saw it when Alice called."

I just start crying, how am I supposed to give someone up like this?

Someone who cares about me so much he's willing to put his own feelings aside, because he knows I'll never love him the way he loves me or the way I love you.

"Thank you. I don't deserve you, thank you for listening, loving and supporting me," I tell him.

"Angel, you're the sweetest person I know. So compassionate and so full of love," he whispers as he kisses my forehead and bids me goodbye.

That's when I lose it.


	27. Chapter 27

SM owns all.

What am I going to do without Paul?

He's been my rock for so long. My confidant, I tell him everything, well except about you and him. Those are the only two things I keep to myself, they were sacred, mine alone.

I'm not sure what to do without him, and standing in this hospital, I feel so alone.

Alice takes me to your room. When I see you there in the bed with all of those machines hooked to your body, I can't even think, I can't even breathe. I just fall to the floor as the darkness over takes me.

It's his voice that I wake up to. I don't know at that moment if I'm happy or sad that it's him and not you.


	28. Chapter 28

SM owns all.

The doctor can't tell me anything since I'm not immediate family. Alice told them I'm your fiancé so they'll let me stay in your room with you.

I sit at your bed side and hold your hand talking to you for hours. Telling you all that's happened in my life since we've been apart. That and the fact that I still love you.

I don't know if you can hear me or not. It doesn't matter to me. I keep talking hoping that maybe you'll wake up.

They tell me you may have some brain damage and may not remember what happened before the crash.

It's been two weeks and you still haven't woken so I take a short visit home to take a leave of absence from and work and terminate my lease. I don't know what the outcome will be but I know I have to be near you.

I have to be with you.


	29. Chapter 29

SM owns all.

As the weeks turn into months, there's still no change. They say you're not brain dead, it just looks as though you're sleeping peacefully.

I have to go back to work. I can't put it off any longer. I did manage to find something closer so again I moved back home.

I still talk to Paul. He started dating a very sweet girl named Emily and he seems happy so I'm happy for him. He deserves to be happy and loved, that was something I could never have given him.

I found an apartment close to the hospital so I come visit you every day. The doctors tell me that you'll be moving soon. I don't know what this will mean for us or how long you'll be like this.

Alice says I need to move on, _he_ says I need to move on, but I can't give up on you this time.


	30. Chapter 30

SM owns all.

Two months after the accident, I get a call at work, you moved your fingers. I'm ecstatic and take the rest of the day off because I need to be there with you.

I need you.

Nothing.

No other progress in the hours I've been sitting here. I'm feeling like the nurse imagined everything. So I settle in like I normally do and read my book.

"Bella?"

I tense.

I look up, and all I see are the most beautiful eyes in the world and your smile.

"Hey," I whisper, "let me get your nurse."

I have no idea if you'll be happy or sad to actually see me there, but at the moment it's not about me, it's all about you.

I just have to wait and see.


	31. Chapter 31

SM owns all.

We take things slow, we talk a lot.

You remember who I am and what happened between us.

I don't know if I 'm happy or sad. I feel so guilty to have caused you that kind of pain.

We talk about what I did when I left and where I'm now in my life. You tell me about a girl you fell in love with, one that I've never met.

Come to find out she's a girl you were dating when the accident occurred; she never even came to the hospital.

My heart breaks for you all over again.

I offer to leave. I mean if you love her then there's no place for me.

That's when you tell me to stay, that we need to talk


	32. Chapter 32

SM owns all.

And talk you do. You tell me that you thought there was something going on between _him_ and me. That you never wanted to acknowledge that either of us could do that to you.

You tell me that you've never loved anyone as much as you love me, but you're not sure you can move past this.

Every time you see _him_ and me you think we're 'together', even when you know that isn't the case anymore.

I try and ease your mind and tell you that _he's_ no longer even a possibility and that I never stopped loving you.

All I get from you is, "I need time, Bella. Time to get past this."

I guess time you will get, because I just don't know if I can do this anymore, I love you but my heart is broken.


	33. Chapter 33

SM owns all.

I leave the hospital alone and broken.

I know that I caused this myself all those years ago. I know you still love me, but the trust is gone.

I'll give you your time and move on with my life. Truly move on this time. I realize I need to be happy as well, I do deserve that, don't I?

I throw myself into work as there is a promotion I want and I've decided now's as good as time as any to work towards that goal.

I work, sleep, and eat with no other activities for months, no friends and no dates.

I hear through the grapevine you're going home, and you've fully recovered.

I'm happy for you, I really am.

Though sad for myself.


	34. Chapter 34

SM owns all.

I see both of you out one Friday night. The brothers I try to forget and get out of my mind.

You see me and waltz on over like nothing is wrong, as if nothing ever happened.

"Bella."

I melt at the sound of your voice. There's nothing in the world like that sound, though I don't want to get my hopes up.

"How are you? I haven't seen you in awhile," you ask, while tipping your beer back.

I can't even form a coherent sentence while watching you swallow that beer and being jealous of the bottle.

"Ummm, I've been working a lot lately. I got a promotion and it seems to take a lot of my time these days," I explain. "You?"

"Just easing back into work, Doc wants me to take it slow since the accident," you tell me. "So, I've been meaning to call you for some time now, I uhhh, I… wanted to see if you'd like to go to dinner with me?"

Dinner?

Dinner?

My inner cheerleader is screaming so loud, I can barely hear myself think. I've been waiting for this moment for almost three years.

"Dinner would be great, thanks."

I'm so proud of myself. I'm calm, cool, and collected. I have no idea where that came from, but I needed to be that way. I don't need you to know how you affect me still.


	35. Chapter 35

SM owns all.

A week passes and I don't hear anything from you, fuck you, it was probably just the alcohol. Now I'm pissed that you probably thought that shit was funny and laughed behind my back.

I was wrong.

As I walk into the office today after my lunch meeting, there are orchids on my desk with a card.

'_Dearest Bella - Please forgive my not calling you yet. I sometimes forget the things I say I'm going to do. It was pointed out to me that I'd asked you out on a date, one that I truly hope you will still accompany me on. Love always, Me'_

I knew your handwriting anywhere so I'm ecstatic that you took the time to go to the florist and hand write the note.

As soon as you answered the phone, I gave you my answer, "Yes, yes of course I'll still go out with you silly boy. Nothing would make me happier."


	36. Chapter 36

SM owns all.

Our first date is awkward to say the least. We haven't been alone with one another in years and this time we have nothing hidden in between.

"Bella, I want to say how sorry I am. I'm sorry for making _him_ spend all of that time with you, for not trusting you, and then cheating on you, as well. I know that we can't make up for lost time between us, and I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I just wanted to see maybe if we could try and start over... start fresh?"

"I forgave you a long time ago for cheating on me. I knew you were, _he t_old me. _He_ only did it because I asked and you were so distant and I didn't know what was going on at the time," I said to him as my eyes filled with tears.

"I was scared, Bella. I loved you so much, you asked me to move in and I panicked. I didn't know what to do, so I ran."

"Hey, next time talk to me. Tell me what you feel. A lot of this could've been avoided. You know I'll always love him, right? Not in the capacity that I love you, but he's been my friend as well."

"I know, I know that's just something I'm going to have to work through, because I want to try and really be with you."

I almost squeal in delight as I see my dreams coming true.

How wrong I was...


	37. Chapter 37

SM owns all.

We've had our ups and downs. If I don't answer the phone as soon as you call, you freak out. You never accuse me of anything outright, but I know it's there.

I know I can't go on living like this, we either have to move forward or we're never going to work.

My job has become a big part of my life and I'm working more and more, and traveling quite a bit.

That's something that doesn't go over well with you sometimes. You don't understand why I have to travel so much. I try explaining it until I'm blue in the face.

That's when the shit hit the fan.

"This is it, Bella. I can't do it anymore. This is too hard on me not knowing where you are or being able to see you anymore. You're always gone, hell, you don't even really live at your apartment anymore."

I hear this complaint on a regular basis. I don't have the heart right then to tell you I'm being transferred. I want you to come with me. I want to ask, but we've only been back together for about six months, so I figure now's as good a time as any, right?

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I've been transferred to Florida and I want you to come with me. Now before you say no, hear me out. I think this could be a fresh start for both of us, new place, new people, new life. Think about it, you don't have to answer me tonight, I have a month before I have to report to that office."

The look on your face is priceless. I'm scared. I have no idea what you are going to say when you open your mouth and say...


	38. Chapter 38

SM owns all.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Are you sure? I mean, I know I love you and I want to be with you and only you, but I can't keep going through the Jekyll/Hyde mentality anymore," I tell you.

"I'm sure, I want you and I do trust you. I know you love me."

I blow out a sigh of relief. This is huge for us. I know you moving to be with me is a big step. I just don't want you to resent me for moving across the country and away from everything and everyone.

"B, don't over think it, this is good for us, it'll be good for us. I can do my job anywhere, so I won't be missing it. As far as everything else, we need a fresh start."

"How is it you know me so well and can read my thoughts, _now_?" I asked him with a pointed look.

At least you have the decency to look sheepish as you say, "I didn't realize what you meant to me until you were gone. Once I realized it was too late and the anger took over. I've grown, B, and so have you. We're in a different place now. I can't say I won't worry or freak out from time to time, but I know I can't live without you anymore."

"God, I love you so fucking much!" I exclaim, as I jump into your arms kissing you all over.


	39. Chapter 39

SM owns all.

I knew Florida would be good for us, and it is, it's awesome.

I settle into my job and work a lot to begin with. Sure it caused some problems, but you come up and have dinner or lunch with me. You meet all of my co-workers at dinner one night, they love you and you love them.

Life is finally good. I feel like I've finally got what I deserve in life. Yeah, it was rough in the beginning for us, and we've had to overcome quite a few obstacles to get where we are now. It's worth it though. You and I are together, no more bullshit between us.

We've been in Florida about a year now and things are starting to get weird. You started acting all distant again, and I, of course, am freaking out.

I don't have anyone here to confide my fears in, no one knows our past. I really didn't want anyone to know.

I'm scared you're going to leave me this time for good when you call and say those famous last words, "We need to talk."


	40. Chapter 40

SM owns all.

I'm trying not to freak out too much when you call, seriously I'm not. I look calm on the outside, but inside, I'm dying. I wondered what happened to break our happy bubble this time.

By the time I reach the house I'm almost in a full blown panic until I walked in our apartment and see you on one knee waiting for me.

"Bella, I love you, I have _always_ loved you. You've been there for the best and the worst times of my life, I cannot imagine not waking up to you every day or going to sleep without you every night. I need and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Edward, of course I will, nothing would make me happier than spending my life with you." I tell you as the tears are rolling down my cheeks with the biggest smile on my face. "I love you, Edward, I've always loved you. There will never be anyone else for me but you."


	41. Epilogue

Ten years have passed since we said I do. We still live in Florida and I'm still with the same company. I don't work near as much as I used to. You've started your own company so you can spend more time at home with us. You're doing exceptionally well and have given us quite a comfortable life.

We have two children, twins- a boy and a girl. Ironically we named our son after my Dad and your brother and our daughter after your grandmother and my best friend. Emmett Charles and Elizabeth Rose, those two kids keep us on our toes, I love Emmett and Rose, they're such great kids and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Emmett will never know the true reason he's named after his uncle. That will always be a secret between the three of us. Emmett was truly flattered that we named our son after him. You were quite gracious in using it, as well. Actually, you insisted when I started to protest.

You told me once if it hadn't been for Emmett and me seeing each other behind your back you may not have ever realized the depth of your love for me. You said it made you work through your relationship issues. I laughed as I told you that was the most fucked up thing ever. We've been through a lot in the fifteen years we've been together. It has not always been easy.

Emmett and I are still close. We talk on the phone at least once a week. He's an important person in my life, just as I told you all those years ago, I will always love him. His wife is amazing. I love Angela. She's good for him and good to me. We sat down with her when they were dating and getting serious and told her everything. At first she was quite upset and didn't want me to have anything to do with him, but you got her to see that there was nothing between us anymore. Emmett was like a brother to me, just very protective. He always has been and that was what started it all to begin with.

Over time, Angela and I also became good friends, so it all worked out.

And you, Edward, you're my life. I cannot imagine you not being here for me or me for you. We're closer now than we would've ever been. We don't bring up the past, and we're always looking forward to our future, together.

Thank you for loving me, forgiving me, and giving me this wonderful life...I never felt as though I deserved it and every day you prove me wrong by loving me as much as I love you.

Yours Forever, B.

*BL**BL**BL*

I read an article last week that inspired this story. I literally sat down and wrote it all in one afternoon. The article was based on loving someone and what you will do when you love someone. I have been on both ends of the spectrum of cheating.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I am sure it will not settle well with everyone what Bella did. Please know that she loved them both greatly, though in the end she had to decide who she loved more. It was a hard decision for her, but she made the right one.

Your reviews have made me smile, all of them, you guys have been amazing through this whole story. Your guesses, your frustrations, and with your love, I cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to me.

Thanks always to Sunsetwing for being my awesome Beta and to Mamadog93 for being my awesome pre-reader even if this was a hard limit for her. And B, thanks for always talking me down from the ledge and giving me what I need, I love you!


	42. Author's Note EPOV

A/N - I am posting a companion piece in Edward's POV this may give you some insight to him. They will be short chapters, and I will post a few times a day.

Things aren't always what they seem.

Thanks for all of your love.

T


End file.
